Interview with Tony Parlapiano, Piano Instructor, Creator of popMatics

Tony Parlapiano is a piano instructor who specializes in teaching popular styles of music through interest-led learning. He is the creator of popMATICS, a concept-based music curriculum that approaches learning by listening and reading through writing. Tony is the owner of Parlapiano Studio, an online studio that provides private instruction and small group training to students and music studios from Seattle, Washington to Syndey, Australia. Tony resides in East Longmeadow, Massachusetts, holds a B.A. in Jazz Studies from Westfield State University.

Top 5 Songs of Encouragement:
1) Music for Airports 1/1 by Brian Eno
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKZ3fGR2SDY&t=271s
2) Rollercoaster by M. Ward
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0rNk3-NwOI&t=20s
3) Re: Stacks by Bon Iver
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w68krri0bw&t=67s
4) Don't Worry Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU&t=13s
5) Amazing Grace - Bela Fleck and the Flecktones (solo by Victor Wooten)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq_cXjnR-tI&t=158s

You can find Tony at:
https://www.parlapianostudio.com
https://www.youtube.com/c/TonyParlapiano

View Victor Wooten's talk at:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yRMbH36HRE

Transcript

Melissa Slocum: 0:03

Welcome to the sounds of encouragement, the place for musicians and music teachers to find support and encouragement to help you stay motivated, creative, and moving forward in what you do best. I'm Melissa Slocum, your host and number one encourager. I currently live in the Atlanta Georgia area and have my own thriving studio, teaching piano to all ages in person and online. I also help other teachers use student goal based learning and differentiated instruction to increase motivation in their students and increase retention rates in their studios. You can learn more at www dot music lesson pathways.com. Thank you for tuning into sounds of encouragement. Don't forget to subscribe so you get notified of future episodes. Enjoy the following episode. Don't forget to keep listening at the end and be sure to check out all the links in the comments or show notes. As always, I'm here for you. So you can be there for those who need you the most. Reach out to me at sound of encouragement@gmail.com and let me know how I can better support and encourage you. Tony parla piano is a piano instructor who specializes in teaching popular styles of music through interest led learning. He is the creator of pop Maddix, a concept based music curriculum that approaches learning by listening and reading through writing. Tony is the owner of parla Piano Studio and online studio that provides private instruction and small group training to students and music studios from Seattle, Washington to Sydney, Australia. Tony resides in East Longmeadow, Massachusetts, and holds a BA in Jazz Studies from Westfield State University. Please welcome my guest, Tony parla. Piano Welcome to sounds of encouragement. My name is Melissa Slocum. And you just heard a little bit about my guest, Tony parla. Piano Tony, thank you so much for joining me today. Thanks for having me. Absolutely. We haven't known each other that long, just a couple of years, it was really when lockdown started in the pandemic and 2020 when a lot of us got to know each other online and online groups and started hanging out together sometimes after hours after teaching. And we would get on Zoom calls and just kind of get to know each other and hang out and kind of share what everybody was going through. And that was really how I got to know you. And you know, we've intersected in a lot of cool ways online with different projects we've worked on, and just been able to grow a friendship and I so appreciate not only the friendship that we have, and that you're doing this particular interview. But I just have to say your work is brilliant. And I'm so excited about the work that you do. You've done a masterclass for my studio. And I'm so excited about the pot Maddox that you have. And I know we're not necessarily here to talk about pathmatics. But I kind of feel like that's a very hard thing to separate what I think of you, I always think immediately Oh pathmatics. So, you know, it's been a joy to actually get to know you and your work and to really just be blessed by you being able to share your work out there with the world, and hopefully be able to continue that. So again, thank you for being here.

Tony Parlapiano: 3:26

Again, thank you for having me.

Melissa Slocum: 3:29

So when you think back on your life, and you think back on the people in your life who have encouraged you, or maybe those moments that have been pivotal in your life, where encouragement has been involved, what has that look like for you?

Tony Parlapiano: 3:45

Well, I can tell you that my path changed pretty radically. In my second year of college. I had started off on the path to become, I thought I was gonna become a high school band director. And I had gone through the public school music program. And all of my heroes were my music instructors at school. Wow, very enthusiastic middle school band director. It was his first year out of college, high energy. And if you'd asked me on the second day of middle school, what I wanted to do with my rest the rest of my life, I would have said I want his job. Wow. I yeah, I just I knew that's what I wanted to do. And then going through high school, the being a part of the band and the community element there. You know, up until that point, you're in this class of people and and just in this like age bracket, where it's like you're you're with your fifth grade class and then your sixth grade class and then when you got into the band and it was like there was no separation between the grades. It's like if you were in the band, it didn't matter whether you were a senior or a freshman, right? Just everybody, everybody came together. And so I love that community element. I love the we were very active with marching band programs and doing competitions. So there was a lot of bus trips. Yep. And just things that remind me of kind of what you were talking about at the beginning of the podcast here with getting together and zoom calls after our class. It's like, we'd have the event, and then we'd all be on the bus heading home together, just having a good time. Yes. So and my, my senior year, I joined the the chorus program, which was just a fabulous program. And that's, I just knew that that's what I wanted to do. Wow, with the rest of my life. And can I

Melissa Slocum: 5:50

ask really quick, what were your instruments? Sure.

Tony Parlapiano: 5:54

So yeah, my very first instrument See, I was the youngest of nine children in my home, right. And all of my siblings up to that point had played an instrument. Okay, so there was a lot of instruments around the house to pick from. And the first one I started with was the saxophone. And I lasted about two weeks, because it was not in great shape, and it was pretty heavy. Okay, so then I switched over to the clarinet. I played that for about two years. And in sixth grade, we did a parade and I saw someone marching with this beautiful silver instrument that I'd never seen before. I asked him what it was, and he said, it's a euphonium. So I switched. When I went to middle school, I switched to euphonium. The instrument that I got was not a beautiful silver, it was actually quite beat up. I still, I still just, I just loved how unique it seemed to me because I hadn't seen the instrument up to that point. And I continued with that through high school, and dabbled a little bit in various brass instruments, but the euphonium was my primary instrument. And then I got a little bit into AR and bass. And then when I went to college, it was my, kind of the start of my second year in college, I took a jazz improv course. And nobody was sitting at the piano. And I had a friend in high school who had showed me a few things. But it was pretty elementary. But it was enough to impress people who didn't know. I could play like, C blues and seventh eighth time was my specialty. So that's that's like, that's, that's what it that was like my little party trick. But I mean, I honestly, I did not even know all of my major triads and root position. Wow. And I was just, there was something that I don't even really recall what it was that drew me to it to think that I had any right to sit down at that piano bench and say, hey, I can I can play this if no one else is going to be here. Sure. And from that point on, I just I fell in love with the instrument. I fell in love with jazz music, which I had not really. I did the jazz band in high school. And but again, you phone him, I think I kind of just understood at that point, you phone him doesn't really have much of a place. Like what am I going to do with the rest of my life as a euphonium? Yeah, every every Yeah, every time I went somewhere, it was like I was in a brass quintet. And I would transpose the French horn parts. And I was in a jazz band, but I was like, trance, or I was playing trombone parts. And it was like, everybody was always just like, let me sit in, right. Like, I didn't know what I was gonna do. And, and I was, I was really kind of taken in by the jazz musicians in, in school. And I just, I just felt that that's where I wanted to be. So I switched to piano at that point in time. And from that point on, I kind of spent the rest of my you know, the next year or so desperately trying to catch up to everybody who had been playing since they were six. Okay, so anyway, that was, that was the plan that I was on. And I started working at a mom and pop shop, music store. And that store, there was a few members of this really well established local band called green. And the, you know, one of the lead songwriters, and the acoustic guitarist and singer, I became pretty good friends with him. And he's like, the center. He's at the center of like, the whole music scene. And they do this. They do this. I forget what it's called, but it's kind of like a best of the Hartford best of kind of competition thing where they have all these categories. Right, right. It's like, you know, the best rock band best cover band on the shelf and then they have a huge party, you know, the whole the whole city of Hartford. And anyway, this this guy Who he, he kind of took me around and introduced me to all these musicians, we went to the show together. And he brought me to this recording studio. And he took me upstairs. And he just, he just introduced me to everyone. And his name was Alan Pettis kowski. And now he works for Telefunken microphones. Wow. And in his still got an amazing recording studio on his own, still playing a lot. But he introduced me to a lot of the musicians that I know today. And he also was involved with lots of side projects and creating bands, and I was often invited into those. And really, from there is where most of my friendships kind of blossomed, and I got to meet a lot of local singer songwriters and, and just kind of he just kind of catapulted me into this music scene that a lot of people have to really work hard to break into and make all these connections. And it was just like, if you knew Alan, I mean, everybody knows Alan.

Melissa Slocum: 10:59

Wow. So you are a sophomore in college, and you? Were you thinking music education, or were you thinking performing and gigging or what were you thinking at

Tony Parlapiano: 11:12

that point? That's a good question. Because the only thing I knew at that point that I didn't want to do, I didn't want to be a high school band director anymore, or I didn't. I shouldn't say that. I didn't want to do that. I just there was something about the music program that I felt like, I'm probably not going to get that gig right away. Probably going to be teaching like element school for a while. Yeah, I just took one semester Goodwin's, there's no way I'm qualified to like I was just kind of a little I was I was kind of getting a glimpse that this might not be the future that I wanted. Okay. But at the same time, I also didn't want to tell my parents that I was going to drop out of college. Right, right. So I kind of, so I kind of made this like little like, adjacent move. And I said, Well, I'm going to try to do piano now. And I don't know how I convinced the head of department that that was an okay idea. Because again, I was just so far behind. But they, they let me do it. And, and I worked my way through the program. Wow. I'll be honest, at that point, I really didn't, I really didn't know what the end game was going to be. At that moment, I was working at the mom and pop music shop. And I was doing well as my, in my position of sales there. And I was selling their clap a novice, but I, I didn't think I was ever going to really stay there either. And towards the end, it wasn't that long after I started playing piano that I started teaching piano because they had opened a new location. Okay, so I think I always knew I wanted to be a teacher. I just don't think there was a lot of intention behind those decisions. It was more. I'm lucky how it worked out. Because rather than thinking about what it was that I did want, I was I was kind of making some decisions based on what I didn't want. Sure. And I just kind of felt you fell into the right place.

Melissa Slocum: 13:13

So did you have private instrument instruction? When you were growing up on different instruments? Did you have private instruction before college ever?

Tony Parlapiano: 13:26

Not on it was mostly just the public school band program. So there was no, you know, is no, no real official private instruction, I did take private Guitar Lessons For really just, I don't even know if it was six months, but I was getting into playing guitar and I went to a local music store and took some lessons there. And yeah, it wasn't until I got into college that I that I got hooked up with a private instructor. Sure, at the college.

Melissa Slocum: 14:02

And see that makes total sense to me, because you don't, I feel like you don't have the same teacher baggage that a lot of us do. Because we were taught privately and you know, had the, you know, we were classically trained or had this, you know, idea of what piano lessons had to be or what music lessons had to be. And you know, how they had to be structured and what you had to teach and what you had to do and what all that meant. And I think that's hard to overcome for a lot of people. And you didn't have that. And I can see that I think in your teaching now.

Tony Parlapiano: 14:37

Yeah, and you know, someone, someone else once asked me, So how did you decide how you were going to approach lessons at the outset, because a lot of people at least they start with that. That idea of what they had when they were growing up. And I said, I told him I said, Well, I just taught how I thought everybody else was taught I went and I, I just I researched like the tooth, there was like two method books on the shelf at the store. I looked at both I said, I think this looks better. I'm going to try to do this. And then but it wasn't that long until I started branching off and developing my own style, which is what it's gonna be today.

Melissa Slocum: 15:18

Yeah. Oh, great stories about encouragement. So was there anyone who was particularly encouraging to you and and kind of said, hey, you know, this is definitely your thing?

Tony Parlapiano: 15:34

Well, I have to say, I was very encouraged by my friend, Alan, who invited me into all these groups, and that there was a lot of validation there and in working with those musicians, but there was one teacher in particular, that came. When I was in my junior year of college, he came back to Western Massachusetts, he was he had been living in LA for at least a few decades working in Hollywood, in television. I mean, if there's a job in the music industry, he's done it. Wow. He's done it. He's done it all on while the show's conducting, arranging, composing. And he came back home and he started teaching at the college. And we met at that time, and he was never my private music instructor. It was always just there were he kind of invented some courses, contemporary harmonic techniques, there was a jazz arranging course I, I, I made I pitched for independent study with him. Wow. And then after college, I continued to meet with him. And I still do today. Still meet with him twice a month, every other week, Friday morning, 7am. Heading over Jim's house. Wow. James are Jarrell. And he's very, very, the interesting thing is he's been much more of a mentor than than a private instructor. Because even through there was a lot of times we were not sitting at the piano. A lot of our conversations weren't even centered around music. He's just, he's been. He's been there for me for everything. Sure. So there's, it's not even there's not even one thing that I can say like he was encouraging in this one area. He's, he knows my story, as well as anyone. Yeah. And I think his yeah, there's a really strong bond.

Melissa Slocum: 17:32

And I think that's where you move from just one moment of encouragement to that lifetime relationship where it does become a mentor. And I think that's a great time to pivot to this next question, which is, have you had those experiences where other people will tell you, you know, they'll see be seeming at least to give you great encouragement or great advice? Or they'll say, oh, you should do this. And, you know, it's more it becomes expectation rather than encouragement. And if you've had those experiences, how have you navigated or been able to discern the difference between someone's expectation and their actual true encouragement for you?

Tony Parlapiano: 18:15

Well, I do get a lot of suggestions for things that people think I should be doing. Yeah. Particularly with my curriculum, and I don't necessarily disagree with the suggestions. But I'm very I just, I want everything to be developed. Slowly and tested. As you know, I'm, I have a full schedule of students. And so I know, a lot of people transition out of teaching into content creation. Yeah. And it's a natural progress or progression. You know, once you develop a curriculum, and people want it, sure, it takes a lot of time. But when you're the type of materials that I'm creating, and with the background that I have, I'm generating a lot of materials to kind of serve students who have been through all the traditional routes. And so I'm coming up with these very creative approaches. I always joke that I'm the penultimate stop for a student with a one way ticket to never playing the piano again, like before, before you reach that final destination. Come see me because then I will take whatever radical approach necessary to prevent them from turning into adults who tell people they used to play the piano. Yes. And it's amazing the perseverance that a lot of students have And even having gone through experiences that were less than ideal for them, they still they still want to do it. So I have I have these. Great. I think they're great. I'll just say I think I have these great materials and, and concepts for students that are in that type of a position. But they need developing because they're developed for a very unique situation. Yeah. And then, so people have often suggested you, you should write a book. Well, there's lots of books out there. There's lots of people have written chord books and all this stuff. So what do we what does the world need with another chord book? Right,

Melissa Slocum: 20:38

right, right.

Tony Parlapiano: 20:41

And I think I can tell the way that I kind of tell the differences, the suggestions come through, and I just get the sense, I'm like, You're, you're thinking that I have the information that can help you save these type of students in your studio. But you're not really all that invested in wanting to learn how to do it yourself. We said, The most classic example that everybody can relate to who's in our network of piano teachers is I got a kid who wants to learn jazz, what's the best jazz book? Yeah. And, you know, it's like, like, it's, it's something that and they, you know, nobody wants to lose a student, but like, Are you qualified to do this, you know, and maybe what they mean is, they just want a jazzy piece. And you can do a jazzy piece, because there's lots of people writing jazzy pieces. But if you really want to learn that style, authentically, you should study alongside a jazz instructor yourself, right. And I feel the same way with popular styles of music, where we can buy these arrangements, and they're available. And that's a great way to go for certain students. But the way that I like to approach is much closer to a jazz experience, where they're learning mostly through listening. Yeah. And you need to have you need to develop these skills on your own. So that's, that's when I can tell when people say they want the materials, but they don't want to put in the work to really develop their own ability to do it. They just want it because they know their students want it. Yeah. So I can, I can usually feel that out pretty good. I at the same time. It's a good idea to develop this. And it's part of my bigger plan. But it's just, it's going to take a while. And I got three young kids. Yeah. And they're, they're a priority right now. Yeah, so I'm doing it, I'm developing it, but it's mostly with the one on one instruction, and now I'm starting to do some more group classes and things like that, so I can reach more people. And, and eventually, I'm gonna have the materials, I'm gonna have the recordings, I'm gonna have the videos, but right, it's gonna be more like Apple than Microsoft, I'm gonna make sure it's right before I make anybody buy it, I care very much about the reputation. Everyone's satisfaction.

Melissa Slocum: 23:16

Yeah. And you and I have talked about the idea of more slow development. And things being hard and hard being okay. As opposed to making everything into MC easy. And everybody being able to do you know, kind of whatever they want, whenever they want, however they want, you know, some things. Yeah, we can adapt, and we can make some things easier for students and for one another as teachers, but honestly, there's no easy path to anything if it's done well. And I think you and I have that same kind of philosophy.

Unknown: 23:57

Yeah, the, the easy. I mean, this is this is in in all the marketing for these types of courses, you know, how to learn things quickly learn things fast. And that's not my approach. Yeah, it's you want to you want to enjoy the experience of learning. And I like, I remember there was a I was watching some Bob Ross interview and he was talking about how today we're just going to paint with this two inch brush. Yeah, and we're gonna see how much we can get out of this one tool. And so I I like, I like seeing how much you can get out of one experience. And it's not intentionally this slow people down but it's to build a more solid foundation. And I honestly feel that the, the curriculum that I've built I've, I've removed anything that would be considered that I consider to be unnecessary or to be redundant. So I have, I kind of started with the the end vision in mind, rather than not saying people do this, but I think some people will say, I'm going to develop a method book. So I'm going to start with book one, and I'm gonna build it out, right. And that's not how that's not what I did is I started at the end, because I had a student who wanted, I was working with a professional musician, who was kind of a beginner at piano. Sure. And I knew what he wanted. So I started developing these materials that are not totally at the end, but more advanced. And then over the last four years, I've filled in and tested a lot of things. So it's, it's not going to, I've already I've, I've made it, I've simplified it in that sense, where it will be easier because I've tried to streamline the approach. But that means that each thing there is really important. I've told, I've told, I've talked to some of my teenage students, I'll see them I'm teaching them something, I see their, their legs shaken. And I'm like, I'll tell him, I say, Look, I know what you're thinking right now, you know, why is why is he saying all this? Why is he making me do this, and I just tell him that I promise, I will never waste your time, I will never teach you something that I don't think will be incredibly valuable to becoming the kind of musician that you want to be. There's no fluff here. Yeah, and I give them a lot of freedom and choice to self direct. So yeah, when I'm saying something that I want them to do, it's important.

Melissa Slocum: 26:42

And I haven't said this to you before, but I'm gonna throw a compliment your way. Because I have thought a lot about what you do. And not only with pathmatics, and with your teaching, but also a lot of us come to you to be our wordsmith and to you know, pare things down and to edit. And it occurred to me the other day, as I was thinking about getting ready for this particular interview with you, you remind me of a great sculptor. Because you have this innate ability to take things away, you see what's in that block of clay, you see something inside, and you're able to shave and take away and take away and take away and take away until what's truly meant to be is revealed in that block of clay. And that's what is so beautiful to me about what you are able to do, I don't have that gift, I can build, if you give me the clay, I can build it and I can make something you know out of it. But I can't take a solid block of anything and see what's inside and and excavate. And you even use the word excavate in your description of pop mathematics. And I love that because there is a special way that artists have to think and to be able to move and work in the world in order to be able to do that. And you have that wonderful artistic ability, I think like a sculptor does, to see something and go, Oh, now let's just gently, gradually chip away at this until we get to the heart of what's really here. And I feel like that's what you hope your students do. I know that that's what it feels like when I'm going through like the pop Mannix videos. And when I was you know, sitting with students in the master class, I just was like, you know, this is an artist at work. And I love watching that process. And maybe you don't see it that way. But that's how I see it anyway.

Tony Parlapiano: 28:41

Well, thank you that's very kind and generous compliment to receive. And and that is something that I get asked to do a lot. Yes. I remember that. That quote that always gets attributed to Mark Twain, although I've seen it attributed to a lot of people where they say, I apologize for the length of this letter. If I had more time I would have been shorter. Right? Because or something along those lines. And a lot of that. I think my my best friend is a is an author and a writer, and just through having a few discussions with him. And he shared some resources with me in a book he shared with me Stephen King's book called on writing, which is him talking about the writing process. Yes. And he talks about, I didn't even read the whole book, but I remember there was this part that where his wife is his editor in a way and she would she would say, you know, this all this needs to come out. And he would give no no no, this is very important to me. This is really important. I need to explain this because this is going to end he would give all the reasons why it was important. She's like, that's great that it's important to You don't make me read it.

Melissa Slocum: 30:03

Right, right.

Tony Parlapiano: 30:06

And, and we do this, it's like, we need to express ourselves and discover the reasons why things are important. But then, is it really that important that somebody else has to read that? Right? Right. And so I, it's, it's not as much. I mean, it used to be torture for me to try to do this because I would, I would kind of obsess over how, how, how much more simple? Could I make this paragraph can I get, I get it to the point where it's like, if I lose one more word, the message is lost. But if I keep it exactly how it is, the message is intact. And, and so I love that about language. But it's not, it's not easy for me. That's something that that takes me a lot of time. But somebody will say, you know, can you write this up? For me? It won't take you about five minutes. It's like, you're done. Right? It's gonna take you about two hours.

Melissa Slocum: 30:58

Yeah, yeah. But I think that goes back to how you discern between what expectation and what encouragement is, in a way, because you have that inner that inner sensibility is the only word I can come up with. But you have that inner way of knowing what is core to what you want to do, or what is core to what you want to teach, or what is core to what you want to put out there. And you won't put out more or less, until you are satisfied with it. And I think that's the same with a lot of things, not just teaching, and with music, but also with language and with writing. I had a great editor when I was a writer for 17 years for a curriculum, and I had one of the best editors I've ever worked with. And he was like, relentless with cutting stuff. And I was like, oh, man, you're killing me. And he's like, you know, but this is what makes the writing good. And he was right. Of course, he was right. You know, but until you go through that process, I think it's hard to separate one's ego, from the words or from the teaching or from the music. I know, composers can go through this too, if they have good editors.

Tony Parlapiano: 32:09

Yeah, and similar things have occurred in, in recording situations, where I'll record something, and I'll be like, we got to redo that. It's, it's, it can be better than that. And someone would say, You're in no position to critique this. Like, like, you've just recorded it. Like it's good. We're going on? Yeah. And so it's, it can go the other way to where it's sometimes we want to we want to keep going with refinement. Right. And I think our our mutual friend, Eric Brennan has talked about that, too. It's like, yeah, when is it? You know? You always want to do your best work. But I mean, doing your best work when you're writing an email back to a client about, right, a reschedule or something, you know, it's like this, this does not need you, like just whatever comes out comes out. It's fine. Yeah, no one's gonna fire you. Because, you know, you didn't write a really efficient email. Right, right. So anyway, yeah. So like that,

Melissa Slocum: 33:18

during pandemic, times during pandemic life. You know, we are recording this in April 2022. We've been through two years of COVID pandemic, and lots of other things along with that. What has kept you personally able to stay creative and to stay hopeful and to move forward? In a time when so many people just said, Forget it? I'm done.

Tony Parlapiano: 33:45

I'm sure you've heard this answer several times. But it's, it's my students and my families. I was. I was very fortunate to have been teaching online prior to the pandemic. I've been teaching online since they first announced FaceTime was available on an iPad. Wow. 2011. And I had a student that I had been working with for a decade, who was going off to college. And everything was going to be new. And it was his mother's suggestion. She said, Hey, do you think you could do like these FaceTime lessons? Could you could you could you still meet because we would love to when everything's changing, have this thing that's been consistent in his life just remain? Wow. I mean, this was a kid who music got him through high school. And he and his parents said, you know, you're not gonna get your license. He's like, That's fine. He never got his license. So he was like, 23 nothing mattered but if you if you ever talked about taking away his piano lessons, forgetting how he played, kid played like, two to three hours Every day, consistently. And what was just a little sidetrack on this, what was amazing about this student is he never learned to read music, first of all. And the interesting thing was, not only did he never learn to read music, he was never interested in learning how to play anything that somebody else had created. Oh, wow. 15 years work. It was pure composition, and improvisation. It was 100% just self expression at the instrument. So we talked about every week, I'd come in, and he'd like, record me playing some chord progression, and then he would just run with it. Wow, we talk theory and fit and play and talk. But he never had no interest in recreating something that somebody else he's like, I just want to do it all myself. And then he got into recording, and it's still a part of his life today, which is amazing. Anyway, that's when I started teaching online. And of course, back then it was just a simple iPad to iPad camera. But we had been working together for 10 years. So we were already at a high level of communication. And so it was easy. It was just fun. And that became kind of a standard for a little while I had when students would head off to college. That was, that was an option that they could continue with. And maybe, I don't know, maybe a few years prior to the pandemic, maybe 2018. I started I joined these piano teacher groups, I met a lot of teachers I got developed a friendship with Steven Hughes. Yes. And we talked together and he helped me, you know, I mean, he's, I mean, what a what a gem?

Melissa Slocum: 36:57

Yes. Shout out. And all the interviews? Yes.

Tony Parlapiano: 37:02

For sure. I mean, I've referred several of my clients to go work with him on both, and both the technical needs that they have, and also when they were looking for tips from more like advanced classical repertoire, they were like, how do I you know, execute these, I'm like, Look, you're asking for advice from someone who has never done this. I said, I'm gonna put you in touch with my friend. So anyway, so Stephen helped me Give me some suggestions for improving my setup. So by the time the pandemic came around, I mean, it was pretty easy switch to flip. Yeah. And and I didn't miss a single lesson. And I was not at the forefront, like I was not, I did not see this coming. I, I don't pay attention to the news very much. And, and so I heard things going on. I had been invited to go to a studio in Boston to go there and talk to, like, 20 teachers working for him. And they were all going online. And I remember on the way home, I got about half dozen text messages from people are like, What are you planning to do? Everybody's going online school? And I said, Well, I do teach online if you want to go online, and then I sent out an email that night. And right away, about 75% of my studio said, Yeah, well, we'll do the online. And then by the following week, it was like, pretty much everybody. Yeah. Wow. But I never missed one lesson in that check. And that first. Fortunately, I had that experience. So for parents who were trying to, I just made it easy for him. Yeah. Just click this link. Yeah, you know, and that's all I've ever really asked of them is just just click this link. And I might, I might send you something to print for you. Aside from that. I'm not going to be asking much from you. Yeah. And, and the fact that everybody really embraced that I didn't lose one student. And I think the first time I had a student that stopped lessons it was at the end of summer. They just decided not to continue on in the fall. But honestly, they were they were I thought they were kind of headed on that path. Anyway. I don't think that that had anything to do with being online. Yeah. And they were just so supportive, and I didn't realize how important they like, how much how valuable the parents saw it to keep the music lessons go and they just thought it was so great. And I just got positive remark. Lots of positive feedback, and I just I felt entirely safe with my by income in my work, and I said, this is this is going to work. And then by September, I decided that this was indefinite. And I told him, I said, you know, at this point, I don't. The local community music school kind of was behind the ball a little bit kind of dropped the ball on China. I think a lot of a lot of places just thought, like, Oh, this is just gonna be six weeks, we'll just we'll just, we'll resume we'll make up stuff in the summer. And then by the time they realized they couldn't, they lost a lot of students. And so I got, I ended up filling all that travel time with more students. I'm like, Yeah, sure I'm here. Yeah, people were taking lessons in the middle of the day, because they were all home. And we have breaks. So I was filling my schedule. And I said, you know, at this point, I was traveled teaching prior to that. I said, I don't think I don't, I wouldn't even be able to go back now without, yeah, letting a bunch of people go. Right. So it was it was it was the families that that support it. And of course, I mean, my own children are the inspiration in the drive behind everything. You know, it's it's the eternal quest for balance between spending time with family and your work. And, and I'm sure you know, anybody knows who works for themselves. The one thing about working for yourself is you it's, it's hard to escape your work. Yes. And be. We live complicated lives. Yeah. And, and it's tough to balance.

Melissa Slocum: 41:29

Well, there's no boss to tell you to go home, you know, you're just always there, you're always working. And you're always trying to, you know, do better and improve. So yeah, I hear that. And it's hard, because you're always trying to manage expectations, either from your clients or from your family. And it's a hard it's a hard place to be. Did you find I have a question, though, during pandemic Did you find because I, I was curious about this. And I know that this was the experience I had, when I flipped my studio to teach online, I did the same thing I had been. But I had only been teaching online about a year before, nine months before the pandemic hit. So I knew what to do. And I flipped my studio, and I didn't miss a beat. But um, I found that because it was a one on one online experience, there was less resistance from parents and students about the online because the other stuff that was online was all like, you know, 2030 kids from their class. And it was, it was just big, and it was distracting. And I found that I actually connected, you know, eyeball to eyeball in a completely different way. And in a much, sometimes much better way, with some of my students. And it, in fact, helped some students I think, be more independent. It helped certainly me with language and simplifying. But I felt like there was the connection is what I didn't want to lose. And just like you, I wanted to make it easy for parents, I didn't tell them they had to go out and buy extra equipment or anything, I just was like, Nope, just we're just going to connect, it doesn't matter if your sound quality is bad. It doesn't matter if your video is bad. Just let's connect. And I think that was the biggest thing for me that I noticed is that in the online teaching space, I had some incredible moments with my students, and it built the relationships far more than had it never happened.

Tony Parlapiano: 43:24

Yeah, and I didn't have any experience with those other that type of group. You want teacher teaching with 30 kids on mine, just heard about it. Through my students, my, my oldest son was supposed to go to first grade, the year the pandemic, and it's just, I had already I had already been considering homeschooling. But I was like, if he's going to be online, I gotta do this anyways, I'm just going to do it my way. Yeah. So it kind of, and things have been going well, so I never had that experience with my own children having to, to see them in that environment 30 Kids online, but boy, did I hear about it from my students. And, and I think you're right, the, the language that we use, I'm sure we've all become better teachers. Yeah. Anybody who's made it this far, we've improved the way we communicate. Yes, for sure. And students have become likely much more independent than they would have. I mean, I, I even though I would pick up the pencil and write the fingering in or I would make the mark or I would write the notes in their book and now they're doing it themselves. And even if it's all in line with the slower approach anyway, giving them more opportunity to think deeply about what One thing, writing it down, I've, I've really gotten into that, you know, you've, you know, my whole thing was handwriting and yeah, pencils and notebooks, I think it's just I, I think it's a really cool thing to have a music journal and write down notes and write down chord progressions and have this tangible thing that you can hold that with all your eraser marks and scribbles and really see how you had to how to how you had to fight to learn that what that was, or if you're songwriting, fight to get that chord progression, just the way you wanted it. You see all that, that? And, and so I think, I think that that's something that's, that's very special. And I know, years later, students who I've worked with that are now in their 20s. And if I go back and visit their house, and I see their like stacks of music of stuff that I've we've created together already, that's just like, that's got to be so cool. I never had that I never had that. Again, I didn't take lessons when I was. But when I I look back at some of the some of the snapshots that I took of like, just kids like music all over the floor, just scattered. So much music everywhere. I look at all that work. You did. It's just so cool. So yeah, I agree with you, I think the one to one that in at a time where teachers were having to split their attention between 30 Different it's just I mean, how's that gonna work, you know, and they'd never done it before. So it didn't really take that much for us to kind of shine in the eyes. Parents. True. But I still didn't. That wasn't that wasn't a given to me. I didn't know that. That's how they were going to see it. I was nervous that people were going to be like, this isn't gonna work, you know. And now it's like, at this point, if people say, like, well, I don't think online is going to work. Well. I mean, you can say that, but it is working. And it's been working for a lot of us for a long time. Yeah. And so it's, it's not really that much different. It's just, you know, you're there. And I'm here and but we're still like, nothing's really different. Nothing's different. And I know people will argue that but I mean, I get it. There's you can talk about benefits, but it's like, you can't say that this doesn't work. It works. I agree. Doing it. You're doing Yeah. Yeah. Stephens been doing it?

Melissa Slocum: 47:32

I know. We're all doing it. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you'll be happy to know, by the way, I have to get this in your. So you have a YouTube channel with a lot of the PubMatic stuff, and you have the short videos of the units. And you'll be happy to know I'm still not done with units I so I have to go through these. I'm slow. I have to go through these. And I have to like, my process with each one is I have to kind of sit and do it with you at my piano and I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, this is cool. And I have to walk away and like do something else. And you know, sometimes it's like, that's like a great time to take a little nap and let the brain absorb and think about sound and what I just learned. And then later, I'll come back. And I'll watch it again. I'll watch the same three minutes again, and be like, Oh, wait, and I'll make some connection. And I'll be like, Wait, I gotta write this down. So I should have grabbed a pop Maddix notebook. I have it over here. But I should have what I should have started was a pop Maddox notebook originally. But now I have all these little slips of paper, all these things on and I'm like, oh, unit nine. I've made these notes. So I'm still only like, you know, at unit 12. But I'll get there, I promise.

Tony Parlapiano: 48:43

Oh, that's that. That's the Bob Ross two inch brush thing. You know, it's like, how much can you pull out of this one video? Yeah. And everything that's in those videos. I mean, that's one layer. I consider this what's called a spiral based curriculum. Yeah. So there's many layers. So once you get through units, you come back around, and then you start combining. And I get into that a little bit where I say, Okay, now we're going to take this concept and this concept, we're going to put it together. That's the Cymatics part, right? We're going to we're going to combine things, add them together, or take this thing, but take one thing out. And so I mean, there's there's endless points of creativity. But the beautiful thing about is the way that I've tried to design it, two things, one, I, I, I feel that it can appeal to all ages. It's not like there's nothing in there, that's hitty where it's like an adult is going to feel weird doing it and there's there's nothing in there that's like too sophisticated that you can't break it down for a beginner. So that's, that's the that's the main thing there. But the other thing is that it's like I don't I don't expect this to be like the thing that everybody like, Oh, I'm gonna throw out all my other method books. It's like this is just, this is just these tools. These are theories. This is the language that I use to describe things. Yeah, because a lot of times But there's nothing strange or weird about it. It's just, you know, the official term is called Tetra chords, I call them blocks. And I have a fun activity, right? Like with how you how you do, it's just, but it all connects to traditional stuff. So it's like, yeah, there might be something here for you check it out. And exactly. It's fun, too. Yeah.

Melissa Slocum: 50:20

Yeah. What would you say to someone who is listening or watching this? Who is maybe not having their best life at the moment? And who is struggling? Maybe with their studio, or just with everything that's gone on? What encouragement Do you want to share?

Tony Parlapiano: 50:37

I think one of the things that I know I get myself trapped into with my thinking, is making choices based on what I think the available options are, rather than starting with the vision or outcome of what it is that I want. Wow. And I think by considering I mean, remove, remove all the barriers that you think exists right now between what were your current reality, and what it is that you want, and just really define that vision in HD. Again, even if you think you can't have it, it's still important to say this is what I want. Yeah. And from there, you can create the path of least resistance to get towards that goal, the series of steps that are needed. And in saying that, I should mention that that is a that is a book that I've read my mentor who I mentioned earlier. James R Jarrow from from Hollywood who came back here, he introduced me to this book. And it's not the path of least resistance, like taking the easy way out kind of thing. It's about energy moving in the direction that it needs to go in the most efficient path. And that's, he talks about those two things where it's like, decide what it is that you want. And it can you accurately describe current reality, like really where you are right now. And then you can start to make some choices to get you there. Include everything, but sometimes we limit our options based on what we think people accept. And I have to say, like, just reach out to the communities that you're in these piano teacher groups. If, if that's if that's your thing, if that if that's where you are. I mean, that's where I received a lot of positive encouragement. And when I, when I had questions, and I started the first year, I was in all those groups, I asked all the questions, it was the first time I had I'd been surrounded by other people who do it. I do, I may have been doing it alone. 15 years. Yeah. And then I couldn't help myself, I was I was addicted to just asking questions, commenting, learning as much as I could. And then you get into that second or third year, and all of a sudden, you're going to become the person who's helping somebody else, you're going to be helping the new people that are coming in. Yeah. And then when you get a little further along, you're gonna get there, you're gonna get a little further along, and then you're going to smile when you see the people that you are helping helping the new people, right. And you're going to be in this position where now you can really just decide, you know, who you want to help, and then make these fabulous connections with people. So, I mean, there's a whole community of people out there who, who want to connect, and share ideas. There's no shortage of people who are willing to talk you through options, there's people who have been there. So that's what I would say is, try not to limit yourself based on what you think is possible. Really just determine what is it here that I want. And then just talk to people look for people who are running thriving studios look for the people who are doing what it is that you want, and talk to them, a lot of them have, you know, I know, I know, you you have a lot of resources and material people can go and search and get some information for free and then you know, if they like what they see, just like it is with my stuff with the units, like what you see, you know, we can work together and so there's people out there that there's if you think that someone hasn't been in your position they are and chances are you know, there's a lot of them.

Melissa Slocum: 54:39

I love what you're saying because I there's two elements that run through that that resonate with me a lot. One is to be clear about what you want. I think a lot of people don't even know because they just look at what all is out there. And they're like, Well, I want I want what's behind door A you know, or I want what This studio owner has, or I want to, I want it this way. You know, I had somebody who said, I want your studio, you know, you've got this these two baby grand pianos. But you. But you know, like, okay, I get it, but at the same time, I didn't just like, you know, pop this into Bing, right? You know, it's a journey. And so you have to envision what it is that you want. And then, like you said, figure out what it takes to get there. And then the other beautiful thing I like about what you said, is the human connection, and making that networking and those human connections because you're right, you won't get there alone, you get there in community.

Tony Parlapiano: 55:43

Right, and you very rarely get it. I tell my own students, this, this is why I refer them to other teachers, when they asked me questions that are outside my area of expertise. Yeah, I'm not going to go I'm not gonna go find the book that teaches the thing that I'm trying to walk you through and pretend like I know what I'm doing here. I'm just, I'm gonna send you to somebody else. Because I'll tell you right now, you almost never get it from one one source. One person doesn't have all your answers. They may act like they do, but they don't

Melissa Slocum: 56:13

know. So we have to get to the music. We've been having this great conversation, but we have to talk about the music that you want to share is your top five songs of encouragement. Wow, so many great parts of this conversation. And we're going to hear a little bit of just 10 seconds of this ambient music music for airports by Brian Eno, you had introduced me to this particular album cash back last fall. And I've listened to the whole thing. It's 17 minutes long. Obviously, I can only play about a 10 second clip. But I you know, I was blown away when I first heard this. And I was like, oh, man, I love this kind of music. So here's 10 seconds, and I'll let you talk about it afterward. See, I could listen to that all day.

Tony Parlapiano: 57:20

Yeah, so music for airports is an album that was introduced to me, by the gentleman I mentioned at the beginning, who was very encouraging and took me around to introducing me to all those different bands. And it's now kind of become a canvas for thoughts, when I want to be reflective about something or just have something going on in the background, some ambient music. The the fabulous thing about that is the the composer of that Brian Eno, who's a producer who's worked with YouTube and Coldplay. And when I haven't found very much about that album, why he did it or the concept behind it. But I did find this like three minute interview clip, and he talks about how he went to this airport, and surrounded by the beautiful architecture. And the way the light just came in, and was reflecting in the room just everything about this, this place seems so beautiful that they had thought of everything, except the music. And the music kind of just ended up being this like, mixed tape of somebody's favorite songs. And it's pumped through the whole record for everyone here. So we started thinking about what what would it be like to compose music for public spaces? It's kind of this idea of imagine what it is that you want. So he said, Well, you would you wouldn't want it to interfere with human conversation. So you'd want it to be either higher or lower than then then that you wouldn't want these very frequent changes. So that's why the tracks are very long, 17 minutes or so. And it would, it would need to be able to be interrupted with public announcements without interfering with the music. Sure. And so anyway, this I've I've often had, sometimes I'm listening to interviews, inspiring interviews online, and I will have this music going on in the background when I'm listening to interviews, and somehow, some of the words just hit me and I will just I'll say briefly, that at the end of that first week of the pandemic, after all those online lessons, and I was exhausted not from teaching the lesson so much but all the extra communication with parents. I put that on. I've already mentioned Bob Ross, I for whatever reason, I threw on an episode of Bob Ross, it was island in the wilderness. And there was one point in there where he said he's you know, you hear the brushstrokes going along. It's all I got blended. And Bob Ross says he says but it's that easy. what's so fantastic about this is that anybody can put a little masterpiece on canvas with just a little bit of practice of vision in your mind. and off you go. And that's how I came up with the concepts for Canvas and the painting and, and, and all those those parts to units. Got it. And I really wanted to have Yeah, I, I just knew I wanted to do something different. And units, everything that's the that's in that part. That's all after March 2020, none of that really existed prior to that. Yeah. And it was all just now I'm working with students that are very young. So I want to I want to give them something different. Because up till that point, it was all more advanced students, right. So that's that's kind of how that all that happened.

Melissa Slocum: 1:00:47

I love that. There's, there's a certain love I have for ambient music that I won't share here. But it's always been part of my life from different composers. So I love that you're you've included that. We're gonna move on to the next. Yeah. I want to move on to the next piece here. This is a roller coaster. By M ward. Here we go.

Unknown: 1:01:13

Your row away. Make it man Scree.

Melissa Slocum: 1:01:28

Talk about this one.

Tony Parlapiano: 1:01:30

Yeah, so M word is my favorite modern day singer songwriter. He's very much inspired by music that's pre 60s. He's the first time I heard his music. I didn't like it. I kind of dismissed it. My mother actually introduced me to it. Oh, my mother say it's very folk, my mother. Very folk, my mother was growing up. It was in my house. It was Willie Nelson from my dad Elvis from my mom. But later, my mother got really into Norah Jones and my brother took her to a concert and Ward was the opening. Okay, she gave it to me. And I didn't love it. It was the album that that that track is off. And then later, I saw this independent film called The go getter. And it's not really something that I recommend to a lot of people, but it's it's something that really resonated with me, but I don't, it's not like I think everybody's gonna love this out this this movie, but there was a lot of parallels to my life. And M Ward was the soundtrack for most of that movie. And it was filmed in the same area that he was in and I just got, I I just fell in love with his music, and this whole idea of the roller coaster know, that's the ups and downs with with our, with our work and kind of just embracing that, you know, this stuff, it lifts us up, and then it sends us spiraling down. It's, it's, it's gonna be it's kind of just the acceptance that like, and rather than getting a little down about it, when when things get tough, or we have those late nights or your computer crashes, and you lost all your work that you were just doing, just recognizing that this is this is part of the gig, you know, and and kind of turning around and saying like, I still can't believe I get to do this. Like any any This is our this is our, our craft. This is our art in any job. Utilizing your craft and your art is better than any job. Not.

Melissa Slocum: 1:03:31

Yeah, true. Yeah. And you use so the roller coaster reminded me to in pop Mannix of your unit about riding the waves. And it was funny because when I was watching that particular video module, I was like, Man are some waves going on in my life right now? This is very, like allegoric to what we're doing on the piano. And then because I was like, Yeah, I feel this, like this deeply resonates. So you know, sometimes I find, I think probably too much about ethics, and what you're doing because I make these parallels to things that are highly philosophic that you never intended. But that's part of what's happening, I think sometimes. And the other thing is I had never heard of em ward. But he reminded me his voice and his style reminded me of Leo Kottke, who I've seen many times, and Leo Kottke as a folk like a folk artist, but yeah, I was really real. I'm like, I gotta go listen to more of this kind of stuff. So that's what I'm going to be doing later.

Tony Parlapiano: 1:04:34

I will need to check that out myself because I'm not familiar.

Melissa Slocum: 1:04:36

Oh, yeah, Leo is fabulous. Okay, so we're gonna move on to Bon Iver here let me share screen again. This is I love the title, our E, colon Stax, and this go listen to this whole song. This is a great song. Here we go. We're going to start this about a minute in Hey this is Paul. This is I just want to keep playing all of the tracks all the way through.

Tony Parlapiano: 1:05:17

Yeah, this, this song, although you might not get it right off this track, if you listen to this whole album. As soon as that song starts, it gives off the feeling like it's a hopeful it's a very it's a it's a breakup album, a breakup of a romantic relationship, and the and also his band. And he was moving back from South Carolina, I think it was back to Wisconsin, okay, and he kind of retreated to his dad's cabin in the woods. And he wrote, he just wrote this album. And it's it's so beautiful, and, and simple and intimate. And you hear the creaking of the chairs, the wood floors, and you hear buzzing strings, things that a lot of recordings would say this isn't, you know, we got to clean that up. Yeah, they're in perfection. It's all in. Yeah. And this was the point where it's like, he got it all out. And so this song, the RE stands for regarding stacks, and they talks about this. Everything that happens is from now on, it's kind of this moment of realization. This, this is everything, this is my new, this is the new era. And this is the past, I'm putting the past to rest, and I'm in a moving forward. So I, I just listened to this album. So many times, I like to go for very late night walks, when the rest of the world has gone to sleep. And I listen to the headphones, and I just kind of stare up at the stars. And there's something about this album, you just feel so close to, to the work that he's doing in the message that he's sharing. And it's it's just the lyrics are so poetic. Yeah, at one point he talks about he's talking about a black pro sitting there, you know, with his wiry legs cross, he's, he's dangling my keys, he makes a toss. And it's like, he's, it's like, his depression is embodied in this CRO and he's got this, he's holding the keys to happiness, and just kind of tormenting him with it. And it's just you have to put the past behind you, and move forward. And so it's, that's, um, that's, that's the sign that I listen to you often when, when I'm when I when I need to put something in the past.

Melissa Slocum: 1:07:43

Yeah, and we've all gone through. I think at this point in our lives, you know, you get to be a certain age and, you know, having children and, you know, losing parents and friends, and having, you know, different. I don't know, I don't want to call it failures, but having different things not work out and your work life. I mean, you can't really get to this point in our lives where you know, you're middle aged, and you haven't lost something and you you don't have things you have to just sort of let go of and put in the past. And I love that you've I feel like some people don't want to dwell on the past. So they only focus on you know, what's forward and what's happy. And I feel like, there's great value not necessarily in reminiscing all the time, because I'm not that sentimental, but in using those emotions and using what has happened to us in the past, to help us move through where we are now to get to the other side. And I love that your music is not all just like the next song we're going to hear. Which is don't worry, be happy. But I love that you can have both and I love that you've included both in your top five. So that's a great segue. Let me share screen again here. So this is Bobby McFerrin. Don't worry be happy goes through the whole song because it's just a great, a great song.

Tony Parlapiano: 1:09:24

Yeah, and I hope anyone listening is already familiar with this one. I mean, this is this is a gem. And it's kind of one of those songs that get kind of lumped into like your childhood song, and something that a lot of people might think you you could outgrow. I have a friend of mine who is a Nashville based singer songwriter, who I played with a lot is one of the first musicians I played with he think he opens every show he does with this. Anyhow, he's got his own take on it, and I've played with them live and we've done it and it's just it's so much fun, it really sets the mood. Yeah. And the interesting thing about this song though, is it was not that long ago, maybe. I can't even remember, but maybe maybe a year ago or so, I went to a birthday party for one of my students, and they all the children were playing outside, my kids got to go. And they were moving, it was both a kind of a farewell party and a birthday party for my student, and everybody's out there playing, just having a good time. And then all of a sudden, the parents come in, and they're like, Okay, we're gonna organize this fun. And they put on this song on, and they're like setting up rules. And now the kids who are playing freely are now like standing in line getting impatient, hey, he went first. It's my turn now. And yeah, and it was the first time that I thought of this song from a different perspective, almost like, Don't worry, be happy, is possibly the best advice that you can give to yourself. But it's also like the most frustrating advice to receive from somebody else. And for somebody else, it's almost like saying, like, Don't worry, be happy. Like, it's just like, I see parents almost be this way to their children, sometimes I'll just be happy, you know, and it's, in a way, it's, to me, it's the recognition that like, peace and happiness is procured from within. It's, it's something that we we have to give ourselves. And, you know, even just watching the music video here, yeah, Robin Williams goofing off and being silly. And it's just, I just, I love how light hearted it is. It's all, you know, there's all connections to you know, it's like ones and four chords, and, you know, in pathmatics, land for over two. So everything is connected, it's very, it's very steep, there's no tension in here, it's very light, it just rocks back and forth between these happy emotions, the music matches, the the vibe of the song. And I just love that. After all these years, I heard it both as like, just this don't worry, be happy kind of carefree thing to almost like, you know, it's, you'll, you'll hear him even later in the song the way that he says some of those things, you know, you know, you don't want to bring everybody down. You know, it's like, it's like, you're here, that's from somebody else saying you don't want it, you know, like, trying to manipulate you into being happy. Yeah, so it's, yeah, anyway, that's, that's, that's the main thing is, it's all procured from within.

Melissa Slocum: 1:12:28

It's great. Because there's, there's at the same time that it's Don't worry, you know, be happy. There's also still acknowledgement, we all have bills to pay. You know, we all have problems in life. Sure, we all have stuff to deal with. But it's okay. Don't worry,

Tony Parlapiano: 1:12:44

be happy. It really is. And, and I've really just coming to understand this now, where I've, I went through some, you know, I had to go get a car, you know, new car, and I was just like, everybody's telling me, it's like, oh, it's a terrible time to buy a car.

Melissa Slocum: 1:13:01

I was telling me that.

Tony Parlapiano: 1:13:05

I was like, how do you? I said, this might be the cheapest cars are ever gonna be? You know, it's like, I have no idea. So it's like it. I really don't you know, and I hope it gets better. But yeah, but if it doesn't, like, I'm going to be very happy. I got one now. So it's one of these things where I'm worrying about all these things that I have that I should be filing under, like, I have no control over this. Yeah. And, and the worry, it's not easy to do. But if you can really, the worry comes from being in the past or the future. Yes, I gotta make decisions now. Because I don't know what it's I gotta protect myself from what's going to happen over here. Or some past experiences, making me concerned about this thing. But if I'm really in the present moment, I can let go of the worry. Yeah. And be so grateful for where I am and what I have and what I'm doing.

Melissa Slocum: 1:14:02

years of therapy speaking right here. It that's so hard. That is so hard, hard, hard, hard,

Tony Parlapiano: 1:14:11

but Well, I know you as a US a dog owner, too, because we're both we both love dogs. I will say that that is that is one of my the my favorite gifts that I received from being a dog owner is those late night walks that I talked about, because you know, they're in the moment all the time. Yeah. So just taking a 30 minute walk with them. They're they're teaching us how to be in the moment. Just pay attention. Just observe your

Melissa Slocum: 1:14:41

dog. Yeah, great advice. We have one more to share here and I love that you included probably one of your favorites. In terms of musicians, this is bailiff Fleck and the Flecktones. And this is part of this really great track of amazing grades. So listen to the whole thing. We're just going to play this tiny little bit. And then I'm going to let you talk about Mr. Wooten in just a second go listen to the whole thing. It's amazing.

Tony Parlapiano: 1:15:27

Yeah. And once you're done with that, go take a listen to his, he's got a TED talk on, I think it's the title of it is music as a language. And there's two versions of it. There's like an 18 minute version one, where he's on stage, and goes into more detail. And there's also a version, a more condensed version, that's like five minutes long. And this is the background music. While he's giving that talk. I didn't know that. I didn't realize they're both. Yeah. Yeah, I'll send I'll send you like, it's pretty handy. If you put in music as a language, they'll both come up. And, and, yeah, it's the it's like around five minutes. And it's the background here. And it's it's basically the 18 minute talk, but condensed,

Melissa Slocum: 1:16:08

we'll include the link in the show notes, we'll include that because I've seen it Yeah, I didn't realize this was in the background.

Tony Parlapiano: 1:16:16

Yeah, his him performing that. And you see the video of it's beautiful. He's in this like, basement surrounded by cellos. It's just the cameras going around and you walk down. So it's, it's fabulous. And if there was a period of time where I was like, every day, I was waking up. And I was listening to that, because his, I mean, I'm not going to unpack it all here. But he goes through his whole journey and how his unconventional introduction into music and basically being taught English and music at the same time. And in the same way, being the youngest of five brothers. His fate was almost determined for him. He's like, he became a bass player, because they needed a bass player to round out the family band. Yeah. And so he talks about how his brother taught them and everything. So his story just resonates so much with me. And he's, I've just watched almost every interview that I can find him online, I've read his books. And his very kind of organic approach to having learned music is just so inspiring. And there's so much to learn from that. And so when I hear the sound of his bass, just his creative way, his techniques that he learned, it's like, nobody plays bass guitar, like Victor Wooten. Yeah, he's completely original, total self expression. And just the the song Amazing Grace is, I think, just such a beautiful song. There's many connections that that song has to two special people in my life. Yeah. And, and so it's, I just, I can't get enough of Victor Wooten. It's yeah, I could, I could listen to him all day.

Melissa Slocum: 1:17:59

Yeah. Great top five songs of encouragement and great stories about each one. Before I let you go today, is there anything else that you would like to share to those who are watching or listening?

Tony Parlapiano: 1:18:14

Yeah, you know, well, I was just gonna, I was gonna mention on that, on that top five, you may have noticed that I didn't really include anything related to piano, there was no piano players in any of those. Other than some piano tracks, but I've have to say, through through, I've been really inspired by guitarists more so than, than anything else in my. And I tend to kind of follow that, that indie folk scene a little bit, where a lot of that was taken from but yeah, you know, nothing specific that I want to say, I just, I want to thank you for the opportunity to, to share this time with you and talk about all these wonderful things. And I just appreciate our friendship that's been that we've developed over the past few years, and this has just been a lot of fun. And, and getting to know and, and yeah, I gotta I gotta, I gotta echo all those teachers tell you they envy your studio there because that is just a gorgeous city. You have. And I, I, I know you say it's taken time, but it's, it's really, it's, there's been significant improvements in just the past few years. So you've been a source of inspiration for me well, and and I just grateful for our friendship, and then again, this time together.

Melissa Slocum: 1:19:39

Definitely, definitely. Well, thank you so much, Tony. If you would like to learn more about Tony parla piano and about pop Maddix. You can click on some of the show notes. You can check out his YouTube channel. And you can also just book some time with him. He's obviously an amazing human being and I think he's an incredible teacher and just gifted, gifted person gifted artists at what he does. So if you have the opportunity to work with him, I know it will be worth your time. And also if you have anything else that you are needing encouragement around, please feel free to reach out to me at sound of encouragement@gmail.com that is all we have time for today. And so just to everyone out there. Thank you again for tuning in and for listening or watching sounds of encouragement. Have a great day. Thank you for listening. Please click on the show notes to learn more about my guest and to listen to their top songs of encouragement. If you have found value in these podcasts, please share the podcast with those you know, leave a positive review or support the show at buy me a coffee.com sound of encouragement is a podcast production of music grow LLC, part of growing musicians and teachers everywhere. Sounds of encouragement is hosted produced and edited by Melissa Slocum to get in touch contact sound of encouragement@gmail.com you can also find sounds of encouragement on clubhouse drop in weekly for a dose of personal encouragement. theme music by Melissa Slocum and Steve Tressler music mixed and mastered by Steve trusler. Thank you to Steve Tressler and Christina Lowe priori who encouraged me to do this in the first place. And remember, I'm here for you. So you can be there for those who need you. The most